


He has no love

by Inrainbowz



Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Beach Divorce, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-03-29 04:04:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3881593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inrainbowz/pseuds/Inrainbowz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charles thoughts on the beach that day, when he realised he failed, and lost everything.</p><p>Erik thougts on the beach that day, on what could have been and will never be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. He has no love

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Il n'a pas d'amour](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3881557) by [InrainbowzZ (Inrainbowz)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inrainbowz/pseuds/InrainbowzZ). 



Charles was painfully aware of what was going to happen. It looked surreal, this scene and the terror that agitated both his and Shaw’s mind trapped by his power. The man wanted to scream but Charles didn’t let him. He was screaming for both of them anyway, under Moira’s worried glance, even if it was vain. He saw the cold anger of his friend trough the German’s eyes, the passionate madness straining the ordinary expressionless features. Charles cursed this ridiculous helmet that kept him out of the man’s mind despite the immensity of his powers. He saw the nazi coin, the one he has seen in so many of Erik’s memories, inexorably worked his way to “his” forehead, unable to do anything about it.

Tears began to invade his eyes. He was powerless. For the first time in his life there was nothing he could do. He couldn’t let go of Shaw – more than anything he wanted for Erik to be safe. He could protect his friend from the destructive powers of the nazi but he couldn’t save him from himself, from his bottomless hatred, from his wrath. Charles could do nothing but watch, and, despite himself, _feel._

_There is nothing else to do_ , he kept telling himself during those interminable seconds spent watching the metallic disk levitating slowly towards Shaw’s face. _It’s the only way, he has to die, he has to_. He tried to convince himself so he wouldn’t release his emprise on the other mutant. _If you set him free, he will kill Erik, he will kill you all_. He was almost screaming this words in his head, and yet he couldn’t help the reflex of retreating from the German’s head when the spine of the object touched “their” forehead. He nearly lost control but managed to stay in place, in an erratic sursaut of heroism. He was ready to endure it. Probably.

He screamed. He opened his mouth wide and let go the cry of pain the German couldn’t. Charles could feel it. Feel his skull being pierced, his head split open. His will failed him and only the hard face and brilliant eyes of his friend in front of “his” eyes kept him from releasing himself from this torture. To protect him. When the coin left the skull he quickly retreated, but not before clearly feeling himself _dying_.

He realized he was crying. He brought a hand to his forehead which of course didn’t bear any sing of what he had just endure for Erik. Because of him.

_He didn’t know_ , he thought. _Had he known I was there, had he known I was feeling it, he wouldn’t have…_

Wouldn’t he have acted exactly the same way?

_Of course he would have. This man has no love, he’s nothing but rage and turmoil_ , whispered a terrible voice in his mind. And, really, he must have known, right? They knew each other, they had an intimate knowledge of their powers and exact abilities, and, come on, Erik wasn’t stupid. He must have known.

Erik had no love.

Charles could still feel the unbearable pain ravaging his intact skull.

 

 

 

He felt with an excruciating intensity the little piece of metalwork penetrate his body and lodge itself easily somewhere in his back. He screamed in pain for the second time in a too short while. His mind instinctively sought for a refuge, desperately reaching to the other persons present on the beach but nothing could help him to withdraw from this: no matter how far he projected his mind he never lost the conscience of his own body and, as for now, of his own suffering.

_He really messed me up today…_

Erik’s panicked face filled his vision but he still couldn’t access his thoughts. He had come to realize as years passed and with some regrets that he wasn’t able to trust people without searching there mind. What Erik mistook as blind altruism was just the consequence of a gift that allowed him to see through any actions, any lies. He could easily chose the people he trusted because their motivations and opinions were always laid bare for him to analyze and judge. And right now, even with seeing grief and despair on his friend’s face, he couldn’t believe. It was his fault after all.

Charles had the confused feeling – his mind was clouded with pain – that he was probably living the worst day of his life. He was losing the only man he ever considered as an equal, his little sister, his ideals, his faith in humanity, his conviction that his power would always make him have the ascendant on others, the use of his legs, a lot of blood. He couldn’t process that this man, this man for whom he had so much affection, in whom he thought he had find a true friend, was abandoning him agonizing on a beach without a second glance. He wondered if the end of the world hadn’t happen after all. His has surely ended anyway.

_This man has no love. And what about me? How much will I have left after this?_


	2. Of what could have been and will never be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik thougts on what could have been and will never be.

It’s all about perspective after all. Context. Circumstances.

It was a beautiful beach. White sands reflected the bright light of the sun, barely filtered by a few clouds. The Pacific waters, a rich, clear blue water swayed gently at their feet.

Dozens of battleship waited to reduce the beach to ashes.

In other circumstances, the island would have been a small paradise. They would have come here together, like a family vacation. Away from the world, free to let lose of those things that made them different, excluded, feared. Powers and abilities that became joy and entertainment when it was just them. Erik could almost believe it. He could see Sean scream water into Alex’s face until the boy could catch him and bury him in the sand. Hank would have climb the trees to catch fruits, Raven would have changed into Roy Scheider or Pamela Anderson to reenact Jaw and Red Alert. And Charles would have look at them, smiling softly, eyes filled with affection, hoping and dreaming of keeping them this way forever, safe and carefree.

Erik would have look at Charles.

And the island would have been a shelter, witness and guardian of happier times.

But it wasn’t. It wasn’t, because the sky was filled with missile and the beach covered with bits and soiled with blood. It wasn’t, it would never be.

Never, never.

Of course he knew what he had put Charles trough when he pierced Shaw’s skull. He had hoped his friendship with the telepath could be enough to change his path, to save him from his rage. But as good as the young professor was, he couldn’t fight against a lifetime of suffering and vengeful thoughts. So the island wasn’t paradise, and would never be.

Never, never.

Of course Erik controlled the trajectories of this idiot agent bullets. He had absolute control of his powers and everything it touched. Metal obeyed him, it was docile, easily bended and conducted, predictable.

Unlike people. Unlike Charles. Erik had full power over metal. But not over his friend, who got up at the wrong time, not over the variable, the unpredictable. Humans.

And the island would always be hell, guilt, blood, unfixable mistakes, eternal regrets. Erik felt the bullet enter easily in soft flesh and he knew. Never would they go on holidays together, never would they be free.

Never, never.

Erik left his dearest friend on this beach, left the meager hopes of peace the other mutant had gave him. He left behind this man, the first of their kind he had ever met, the first man he had ever bounded with. And the last one. Charles was too optimistic, Charles had too much love, too much to give, too much to be offered to, he would forgive Erik and Erik wouldn’t forgive himself.

Erik left the devastated beach. He would never go back there.

Never. _Never._

**Author's Note:**

> So... English is not my first language, and this is a translation of one of my fic. I wanted to test and see it was acceptable in english. If it is I'll post the second chapter, and some of my othet works. Thoughts ?


End file.
